On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom

Michel de Montaigne, 1533-92

A collection of the best advice I have ever received:

• 'Always have your tea or coffee black when you visit someone's house.  People go to the fridge and drink milk straight from the carton', a vociferous lunatic, speakers' corner, Hyde Park

• Boys, always marry an ugly girl, because she'll never leave you - and if she does, you won't care. A country and western song.

• Be the change you wish to see in the world, Gandhi

Are you tired of standing absolutely motionless in the middle of a heaving carnival, pop concert or religious reverie?

Well stand still no more!

Someone has helpfully provided the following instructions for you:

How to dance